I hate to admit it, but this morning as I was listening to music, I had to face a hard fact: I am a consumer.
What I really long to be is a creator…
Then when I think of writing a book, I think: Hasn’t it already been written?
Then when I think of inventing a recipe, I think: Surely someone has already tried this.
Sometimes I even think of writing a homeschool curriculum and then I stop myself and almost shout: Don’t re-invent the wheel!
There are people out there who still defy Solomon’s wisdom and attempt to prove that there IS something new under the sun (or there WILL BE when I’m done creating). There are the MODs and Tricycles of the world, the Colins and the Michaels. And I am very proud of these friends when I read about them in the news and hear of their achievements and look at their innovations…and I wonder how I can get a mind that works like theirs, how I can be a creator.
Yet, here I sit, a mere consumer. Typing out words on a discarded laptop that we took in, preparing lunch for my children who will soon be home from their Chinese lessons, throwing away packaging that the food came in.
Sometimes, when I think about this, fear sets in. As hard as I’ve tried at various times in my life, I cannot seem to escape the suburban mediocrity that I grew up in. I cannot seem to create with any regularity. I cannot seem to get that book written or that curriculum put together. When comes right down to it, I spend too much time consuming.
I consume images with my eyes, music with my ears, food with my mouth. I try not to consume things that will ultimately kill my body, soul or spirit…but to create–that is what I really need to do to live.