It’s not easy to be grateful at the end of a day like this. It’s easy to be negative and self-condemning…easy to focus on self, on lack, on the piles, the neglected, the should-haves. But I know I need training in gratitude. So as I reflect on this day, I need to turn over the stones of today’s events and see what life lies beneath.
I was up early — that in itself is something I’m very thankful for. Every time I sit down to try to re-evaluate how life is going, I tend to zoom in on what is not going according to my plans or desires. And every time I think about how to improve things, somehow it always boils down to getting up earlier in the mornings. This has been on my mind again. For time with God, for time to exercise, for time with KL before he goes to work…. early morning seems to be the best time.
It’s not happening every day, but today I want to be thankful that I was up early and did have some time musing over Jesus’ arrest and Peter’s denial in John 18. It wasn’t a long in-depth Bible study, but I saw one thing I hadn’t noticed before. Here it is…verse 6:
When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.
Fell to the ground? I’ve read this passage so many times and I don’t recall ever noticing this or thinking about it at all. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my own lack of zeal for Jesus and the gospel…how I’ve let this life with Him, this life meant to be lived for Him deteriorate into getting through the day with as little chaos as possible. There is more, I know there is. There must be. I want to come to Him and just hear Him say who He is and be completely bowled over. I’ve been reading about people who have been knocked off their fleshly feet by His word and have lived their lives burning with the desire to know Him and make Him known. I want to be one of those people. I want Revival. Revive me. Revive us, O Lord.