Over the course of the past week or so I have come to realize that the number of plates I’m attempting to spin at this time of year, in this season of life is not realistic, maybe even ridiculous. It’s just me being me but trying desperately not to be. It’s like when I registered for my first semester of classes in college… Me being me I signed up for an insane number of classes which were way over my head. Things didn’t turn out very well that time, so since then, whenever I find myself getting in over my head, I try to grab hold of myself and tell myself to start simplifying.
I took a step towards simplicity today.
I clicked on ‘unsubscribe’ for two very nice weekly newsletters I’d been receiving but rarely reading. My inbox still has more than 900 emails in it, but I’m getting there. I’m thinking of just deleting them all without looking come 31st December but I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to really do that. Speaking of bravery, I’ve even toyed with the idea of leaving Facebook. I like being able to share photos and comments with friends and family near and far, but it has become a major distractor on some days. Would it be better to write more in depth (on this blog, for instance) or to read more? That question will remain unanswered for the time being.
Tonight after I had done my ‘unsubscribing’, I had another radical thought.
The Christmas decorations were not exactly complete, in my opinion. I still had ornaments that hadn’t been hung, my favourite nativity set still in the box, artificial greenery staring at me through a transparent ziploc bag. I had tried to get #2 son to help me get out some candles in the afternoon, but we didn’t get far with arranging them. And then the radical thought came,
“This is enough.”
The tree is up and nicely decorated. The advent wreath is nearly ready. The Jesse Tree ornaments are printed. It is enough. I had been simultaneously trying (hoping) to decorate the house nicely, plan for next year’s homeschool, plan for some sort of ending to what’s left of this year’s homeschool, keep the house in order, do the laundry, care for my not-yet-4-month old daughter, wrangle the monkey boys into doing the needful things like bathing and eating, prepare meals, attend parties, buy presents (and pray I find time to wrap them)… and all this when I had hoped to slow down at the end of the year. It is enough. I am trying desperately to protect the last two weeks of the year for planning and preparation. And hopefully there will be some space somewhere in there for reflection.
I have been jotting down notes and stealing moments here and there to think about next year, so I do have some general sense of direction. Now…to get it all together by January, or at least get it together enough to get going even if it isn’t a perfectly laid out plan for the whole year…